You're Never Too Young to Consider Your Epitaph

Artwork from yesterday: Uncle Mel's epitaph verse

Yesterday I sat before the coffin of my Great-Great-Uncle Melvin, a man who watched kamikaze pilots dive for the deck of his ship during WWII and providentially miss. A man who graduated high school even after his father left him to make his way in the world as a hired farm hand--at 12 years of age. A man who did everything from pastoring to jet engine testing. A man who celebrated 100 years of life just a few months ago, and, when he realized his memory was failing, decided that meant he needed to memorize more Scripture. A man who read a chapter of the Bible every day of his life. A man who wanted his epitaph to list not his accomplishments, but what was accomplished in him: "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."

100 years--and he lived them so faithfully. As a 26 year old sitting before his coffin, beginning my race as he crossed the finish line, I had to ask myself if I was on track to being the kind of 100 year old that Uncle Mel was. Because I want to be. And as a young person, it is easy to get bogged down in daily, seemingly important goals and forget the marathon goal: if God grants me old age, I want to be an old woman who still faithfully loves and follows Jesus. 100 years puts things into perspective.

So here are the top lessons I've learned from my 100 year old Uncle Mel:

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1. Unabashedly love the people God puts in your life.

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He was my Great-Great-Uncle, and the only Great-Great-Uncle I even ever knew. He could have categorized me as a distant niece whom he was fine with seeing now and again at family reunions, yet he and Aunt Ina and his whole family chose to invest in my family and treated me with such love each time we were together that he made me feel precious to him. He was not stingy with his love...he loved wholeheartedly and unabashedly. He risked relationships even when he might get nothing out of them. He went out of his way for people, because he loved whomever God had him cross paths with.

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2. Bitterness is not worth it.

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His father, for various reasons, moved to the East Coast when Uncle Mel was a young boy and started a new family. Uncle Mel had every reason to indulge bitterness at his father, yet when as a man he heard his father was dying, he scrounged gas ration coupons to drive cross-country to make sure his father heard the Gospel before he died.

Uncle Mel's mother died when he was young, and two of his brothers died one right after the other just when WWII was ending, and he could have shaken his fist at God and lived a shriveled life of anger. I have met wizened old men who chose just that path. But not Uncle Mel. He trusted and loved God implicitly, and although I'm sure he walked the valley of grief in a real and human way, he never allowed his heart to be walled in with bitterness. He chose forgiveness and trust instead.

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3. Spend time with God every day.

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While in the Navy in WWII, his destroyer took part in the Battle of Okinawa. Uncle Mel had no idea if he would survive from one day to the next. But one day during that time he made a promise to God that if he did survive, he would read a chapter of the Bible every day of his life. And by all accounts from his son {who heard this story as a young boy while watching him read the Bible} to his son-in-law {who watched him in the last years of his life reading each day}, he was faithful to that promise. And not as a ritual that he was compulsively bound to, but because he truly loved his Jesus and wanted that precious time with Him each day. As a result, the Gospel was profoundly important to him, and even through his death the Gospel was preached and souls were saved!

I rejoice that Uncle Mel is in Heaven, and I thank God that I had a spiritual giant like him in my life for as long as I did. It may take me 100 more years to implement all the lessons I learned from him, but I honestly cannot think of a better life goal than that.

Definitely Maybe

"Maybe" is a difficult word for me.

"Definitely yes": I can plant myself deep in that solid ground, entwine my life around that anchor, and write it in permanent marker on my calendar.

"Ain't gonna happen": I can loosen my grip on the dream, rent a U-Haul to move out of that plan, and pull out the white-out to erase it from my memory.

But "maybe" is another story. Do I turn the page or not? Do I plant deeply or not? {Because spring is on its way and I need to know now...} And when do I pull out the permanent marker versus the eraser?

Yesterday the maybes were eating away at my thoughts. They were a tumble that was rapidly turning into an avalanche. "I can't decide this until I know this, and I can't know that until I figure out the other, and I can't know the other until..." It was an avalanche of unrest and disquiet until God reminded me that  I do have a lifeline: "Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." {I Peter 5:7}

So I wrote two columns for 2017: "Maybes" and "Definites."

I filled in the columns and sat back, surprised. I was surprised by how few maybes there really were. And I  was shocked to stare at them in black and white and realize this: they were all enjoyable possibilities, but I was letting the possibility of not enjoying them steal my joy. Not only that, but I knew I couldn't do all of them and couldn't choose between them, yet I had been expending fruitless energy in worrying that God would make a mistake in choosing which things should define my year. So instead of being defined by my definites, I was trying to define my life by my maybes, and the result was an avalanche of anxiety.

The definites, on the other hand, the things I can write in permanent marker, were far more crucial than the maybes:

I will definitely not find the end of God's love this year.

Jesus will definitely not leave me.

God is definitely sanctifying and refining me.

It was a simple exercise of pen and ink, but truth was suddenly illumined.  If God has given me such solid, anchoring, permanent definites, then why don't I trust Him to define the maybes? In what universe does it make sense to let anxiety over the possibility of missing a maybe steal from the joy I could be relishing now because of the definites?

And at what point do I let anxiety over the maybes define my life? I say definitely never. Instead, I will plant myself in the love of God, anchor my soul in His faithfulness, and broadcast in permanent marker that He is good! Because He definitely is.

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“Maybe:(,” © 2012 Priscila Tonon Ramos, used under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/3.0/.

Backwards Contentment

If youth and old age could be combined into one non-contradictory person (think: Energizer Bunny with a brain, or Labrador puppy without a penchant for chewing and jumping), we would have it made. I've often wondered why it is we can't have both. Why do I have to make all the amateur mistakes now, when I've got the energy to go 70 miles per hour?

Yet somehow, with increasing smarts and wisdom (because, although I am most definitely not on the honor roll for Life Lessons Mastered 101, at least I have progressed from my 15 year-old self) comes increasing wistfulness. I first noticed this, not in myself--because who notices flaws in himself first?--but in the scores of sweet middle-aged women who ooh and aah over my baby. Every single one of them says some variation of, "Enjoy this time! It goes by so fast! It seems like mine were that age just yesterday, and now they're 27 and 31!"

To all the middle-aged mothers out there, I am trying, I promise! You tell me the days go by incredibly fast, so I am doing my very best to savor every nighttime feeding, every sleepy morning smile, and every splish-splash in the bath. But I find in myself the very real tendency to be "backwards content." I don't think this is just a mom problem, because it's not only a struggle for me with my nearly seven month old who is sitting up, waving, and eating avocado (how? how did we get here so fast?), but also in many other areas of life. High school seemed interminable until I was finished and could look back with satisfaction. Getting married would neeeeveeeerrrrrr happen until it did, and now I wonder how my single years went by so fast. My body was never quite perfect; then I had a baby and I became perfectly content with my body...the way it used to be. Somehow, being content is always easier in retrospect.

Maybe there is no cure for this. Maybe every woman everywhere will look in the mirror and criticize her appearance at the age of 20 and then long for that appearance at the age of 40. Maybe every woman everywhere will wish for a good night's sleep, or a nicer house, or a new stage of life, but when confronted with that very wished-for thing, will look back with contentment upon the interrupted nights of sleep (representing precious wee ones crying in the night), the small house (representing close proximity with loved ones), or the old stage of life (representing productivity and energy). 

And then I met a woman at Wegmans (no, you don't have them on the West Coast, and yes, they're awesome) who was adoring Liam; he, in turn, was giving her priceless smiles and giggles. She repeated the exact same mantra in the exact same way. Except she kept going. After the "just yesterday" bit, she said, "My son is 14 now, but 14 is such a fun age too. I'm so proud of him, you know? It's just cool to see your children growing and learning and becoming more independent. You'll love that stage too." I admired this woman for her ability to love the past and embrace the present--a delicate balance.

I don't think the situation is hopeless. I think it is a beautiful thing to look back upon life with contentment. Hindsight is 20/20 after all. But I think it is an even more beautiful thing to embrace the here and now with vigor and delight. Maybe that's what all these older, wiser women have been trying to tell me all along.

The Leap Day Phenomenon

Leap Day fascinates me.  Living a day that only exists once every four years is curiously like living in a time traveling time warp. After all, how else could you add a day to my month--a whole 24 hours that appears out of thin air! Certainly not through a mere paper-shuffling, calendar-quibbling, name-game formality. Time warp is a much more delightful and intriguing theory behind Leap Day.

And so I am convinced that we need to celebrate Leap Day to its full potential. Honestly, who doesn't need an extra day in their lives? I for one am imagining all I could accomplish on a "bonus" day: catch up on every email I've been procrastinating on, plan the next six months of teaching, dig myself out of my (let's just be real, shall we?) disastrously messy room, file my taxes, and finish that big project I've been working on. 

But while I'm being real I should probably also admit that I'm going to need a whole lot more than one Leap Day to get it all done.  So, all fantastic time warps aside, I've been pondering this problem of "getting it all done" lately and have realized something.

If I am always feeling that I need an extra minute or hour or day, then perhaps what I really need is less packed into that minute or hour or day.  
Perhaps the real problem lies not in the constraints of time but in my lack of constraint.  Perhaps the root of my stress is that I am a chronic over-committer, finding it stupendously difficult to say no to things without feeling guilty. 
And perhaps...just perhaps...I am not alone in this.

We women know how to choose the best-tasting watermelon. We can decide in seconds if an outfit is adorable or homely. Yet we somehow lose our decision-making skills when it comes to regulating what we do or don't commit to. The worst part about this is that if you take on too many good things, you are overbooked, unavailable, and worn out when the best things come along.

So here are just a few questions that I've resolved to ask myself when considering adding something additional to my plate:

• Is this going to advance God's kingdom or myself? 
• Am I tempted to refuse this commitment simply because it would take me outside my comfort zone? 
• Where is my mission field right now? Everyone has a mission field for each season of your life. So if you don't know what yours is, discovering God's mission field for you should be your first step. Knowing this will give you much clearer vision for what you should take on and what you should turn down. 
• Is saying no painful because I am more worried about people not liking me if I don't please them than I am concerned about what God wants me to be doing right now?

These questions are only the beginning--I would love to hear what questions you ask when facing decisions!

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“.TimeMachine.,” © 2008 Sachin Sandhu, used under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/3.0/.

I've Been Waiting My Whole Life for This!

Would you believe that in the last year I have experienced more "firsts" in my life than I ever thought possible?  

The truth is that nearly every day brings an opportunity for a "first" if my eyes are open in childlike wonder to them. I want to be like my four-year-old student who exclaimed when it finally snowed this January for the first time in his memory: "I've been waiting my whole life for this!" And he quite literally had!

But in order to have this joy in the new I have to welcome the fringes of my comfort zone.

I have to keep my priorities sturdy enough to motivate me yet soft enough to be moldable by the Holy Spirit.

I have to never lose a child's zest for exploration.

So maybe today's first is as seemingly banal as going to a new cafe or reading a new book, but it might be as life-changing as meeting a friend for the first time or starting a new job.  I should celebrate all of these firsts with child-like joy: I've been waiting my whole life for this!  So here is me choosing to celebrate:

1. As Mikaela already alluded to, I became an auntie!  I could type ferociously for an hour on how adorable I believe my nephew is and I could bog down your internet with pictures by the hundreds, but since Mikaela already promised some of that for next week, suffice it to say that I am in love.  And when I met him at only a few weeks old, I could hardly let him go. 

2. Last September a lifelong dream came true the moment I stepped onto a plane bound for the UK.  This unbelievable dream of a trip to Ireland, England, and Scotland brought:   
a cascade of first-time experiences {first time to use my passport!}
a flood of delight {charming castles by the side of the road!}
an insatiable wanderlust {can I move to Scotland?}
and an awe at this great world God has created {the world never before seemed so reachable yet so vast at the same time}.  

Here is just a taste of my two weeks:

 First time touching the Atlantic Ocean {in Scotland, no less!}

                        First time realizing what it feels like to step into a storybook castle...

 Devotions at sunrise in Edinburgh with an amazing group of people

Threave Castle.  First love. 

Edinburgh, my favorite city in the world.

 My travel partner in the most amazing trip ever! 

What wonderful memories we made together.

3. Some firsts I've recently experienced aren't so delightful as a trip to Europe or a new nephew, but nevertheless they have shaped the story of my life these last months: things like being sick on Christmas Day for the first time, or having my bank account information and $1500 stolen from me, or being a passerby in the street at the perfectly wrong moment and getting pepper-sprayed in the face.  But if those tiny drops of suffering soften me to be moldable by the Holy Spirit, then they are just as important and needed as the sunny days of joy.

4. 2016 in itself is a brand new experience with no mistakes in it yet!  January is already old news--folded up and shelved--and February is swiftly joining, but here is what I want to remember this year for all the firsts that await:

I've been waiting my whole life for this.  
What firsts have you experienced lately?

Favorites from 2013

Almost five years into this grand experiment called a web log, blogging has become a natural bi-weekly habit as I observe my surroundings, take stock of my inner ponderings, choose the most interesting of the several dozen pontifications that were profound enough to be remembered a few days later, and then type it up, revise it, and publish it on Tuesday morning. Some posts end up weird, others mildly entertaining, and a few (I hope) profound.

As 2013 slips away, I'd like nothing better than to celebrate the successes (and forget the failures) with a countdown. First, I share with you the top five most-visited posts on One Bright Corner:

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The Night the Stars Streaked by Lauren

Mikaela and I had been sent to bed long ago, but the falling summer sun was so orange and bright through our window and our gabled bedroom was so warm and stifling that we were certainly not inclined to fall asleep. We could wield our tongues with each other for time without end, and in the course of our whispered conversation we soon had crept out of bed to enjoy the night. We carefully opened the window and breathed in the sultry summer air. Sleep was forgotten. But the time of reckoning came. "Come down here," a voice suddenly called from the ground below the window. I slapped my hand to my mouth and stared, wide-eyed, at Mikaela. Read More>>

2

Waiting Room, Part II by Mikaela {but why would you want to start with Part II of this three part series? I'm linking to Part I!}

Have you ever asked God, “Why did you give me this vision—this desire that burns so greatly in my heart—only to leave it unfulfilled?” There are times in my life where I begin to think my hopes and dreams are just a mirage. Perhaps I was mistaken when I believed God anointed me for a very special task. Was I tuned in to the wrong station when I heard Him so clearly point me to marriage and motherhood? This isn't just an issue of marriage, though: college, discipling, and teaching music have all been points of desire and doubt in my life as well. Read More>>

3

Six Little Light Bulbs for a Rainy Day by Lauren 

Fun and random facts that offer a snapshot of our life in 2010. Read More>>

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Lord, Let Me Declare by Mikaela
On my nightstand, one book has had the place of honor for a decade. This book, which began life as a charming black-covered creation with vivid red corners, is now a shabby stack of over 200 bound papers. The cover is long gone, the edges are curling, and the first ten pages have escaped the binding. This book, you see, began in the ninth year of my life, is my journal. Her name is Louisa, and here I offer you a look at my life through the last decade, complete with authentic spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors (oh, my!). Read More>>

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Little Women by Mikaela
There is a little book which has resided on our family’s bookshelf as long as I can remember. Yet try as I might, I could never manage to finish the exactly 500 page volume. I began it at least half a dozen times over the years, never making it much past page fifty, despite its liveliness and my interest in it. Henry Thoreau was right, however, when he said, “read the best books first, or you may not have a chance to read them at all,” and so this very morning I completed the book: Little Women. If you have never gotten around to reading this treasure, I must warn you that while I empathize with your plight, I am on a mission to proselytize you. Read More>>

Since the most-visited posts give older posts a decided advantage in accumulating page views, and since only one of these posts was actually posted in 2013, and since everyone likes cliff notes, summaries, and big blinking arrows that say "turn here," allow me to present my personal top five favorite posts from 2013:

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A Love Story by Mikaela

This is not a story of love at first sight. This is not a simple story of love, though this is the simple version. At times, it was messy and difficult and hard and required both people to die to their interest in each other. Nevertheless: this is my love story. Read More>>

7

Pastor in Dreadlocks by Lauren

“Mom, who’s Pilate?” “He’s the big shot.  Be quiet”

“I can’t see!”

“What do those words on the screen say?”

“Oh…oh…I am thirsty.  I am really thirsty!”

I was at an Easter play, trying desperately to get “in the mood”, but with the running commentary going on behind me, I might as well have been in Costco watching The Passion of the Christ on their big screen TV displays while people around me munched Polish sausages. I was getting fed up. Read More>>

8

Capital Offenses by Lauren

Capitalization, in case the concept wasn’t painted across your forehead in grade two, is extremely important.  For instance, the time I forgot to capitalize God’s “Law” and several other synonyms in an important college paper all about God’s Law…and was docked ten points.  Ouch. Lesson learned.  If you want to gain points on school papers and camouflage your innate blondness, I highly recommend you capitalize on the discipline of capitalization. 

Read More>>

9

God--You're Getting Bigger! by Mikaela 

Which brings God the greater glory: to be worshipped by wretchedly sinful, incompetent beings or to be worshipped by completed, perfected beings? Read More>>  

10

In Theory by Lauren 
I wonder if Thomas Edison were one of our generation whether he would have theorized 10,000 possibilities for creating the light bulb, but never actually tested them. I wonder if Paul Revere were one of our generation whether he would have moaned about the poor colonists who were about to be taken unawares, but never actually mounted a horse to warn them. Read More>>

 

It's always fun to reminisce and look back, so I hope you enjoyed this journey as much as I did! I'm also enthusiastically looking forward to 2014; happy New Year everyone! Do you have a favorite memory or blog post (from your own blog) to share? I'd love to hear about it in the comments section! 

Photo Credit: ginnerobot