Was Jesus an Introvert or an Extrovert?

I remember the first time a friend enlightened me as to the definition of an introvert: "It means you get your energy and recharge from being by yourself."

I had never heard the concept explained so simply before, and the definition definitely described me. I was fascinated, and I soon noticed this topic cropping up everywhere. In the beginning I chalked it up to the phenomenon that occurs when you learn something new and inevitably the new word stalks you from radio shows and bumper stickers and sky-writing. But as a few years have passed since that first discovery, one would think the phenomenon would pass too, but instead I have noticed two ever-increasing trends:

{scientific statistics alert}

1. A whole lot of people whom I would have dubbed extroverts actually called themselves introverts. And...

2. A whole lot of people in general like to talk about this topic at length. In fact, if you have a self-described introvert who won't make conversation about anything else, simply bring up the topic of introversion, and you will be hard pressed to change the subject. 

Understanding personality types has helped me understand others' perspectives and shape my responses in some very effective ways, but I began to wonder: We're talking about it a lot, but does the Bible have anything to say about introverts and extroverts? Is one more godly than the other? Is all this focus on personality really good or is there a limit to the benefits of navel-gazing?

Fast-forward to another conversation with a different friend, and as I was beginning to ask these questions of myself, I asked her if she were an introvert or an extrovert. She declined to classify herself as either, saying simply that she was trying to avoid a self-focus, and couldn't help but see the wisdom in her response. 

So is there any redeeming value in learning about your personality tendencies? I turned to God's Word, and here is what I discovered:

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1. We are uniquely different, but united in glorifying God.

Personality groupings are helpful, but ultimately fall short.

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Whether you're an INFP or an AARP, it feels good to belong and fit in with a group of people who "get" you. I know the feeling! It's not wrong to seek commonalities with those around you, but you have to realize that any grouping is ultimately simplistic. Even experts on the subject will readily agree to the fact that these types are generalizations. 

The truth is that God has created us all unique {Psalm 139:16, 1 Peter 4:10-11}, with subtle differences in our personalities and perspectives, our strengths and weaknesses. These differences cannot be wholly grasped by a personality test, helpful though it may be.

And although we are all different, whenever the Bible speaks of gifts or strengths, it speaks of using them for the unified purpose of glorifying God. So if I box myself into the type of an introvert and tell myself that because of my introversion it is fine to not push my comfort zone, I am missing the whole point and indulging in the self-focus my friend mentioned. Selfishness was a nagging problem I had with this whole topic as it is my weakness and can be the weakness of the personality-obsessed as well. "Discover your personality, not so you can better serve God, but so you can keep yourself happy and satisfied."

2 Timothy 3:2 prophesies that "men will be lovers of themselves" in the last days. Feeding my desires for introverted comfort can definitely lead to becoming a lover of self just as feeding extroverted desires could lead to being a man-pleaser. Those are the extremes, I grant you. But here's the bottom line: we were created to glorify God {Isaiah 43:7}, and any understanding of personality type is only helpful as far as it aids in that purpose. Which brings me to the next thing I've learned...

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2. We are new creations when we are saved, and all things have become new.

Personality tendencies can be insightful, but should not be used as an excuse.

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Are personalities too sacred to be sanctified? Not according to 2 Corinthians 5:17: " Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new."

K.B. Napier writes,"Man cannot alter his own personality, it is argued, because his personality and 'drives' are inborn and handed-down by evolution. Any defects, nasty as some of them are, must just be accepted as they appear in each individual. This idea runs through much of our social sciences and it is unfortunately expressed by the majority of Christians. And it is wrong. People become new creatures when they are saved....The change of personality by the Holy Spirit is not an option for special types of Christian.  It is required of us all, by God."

Thankfully, God's principles and commands in Scripture provide balance to our lives and personalities. Knowing that I want to be alone when I'm tired or not cram every day full of activity is a helpful insight to not burning myself out. But I have to understand that sometimes these desires turn selfish. God doesn't call me to take the road of ease or least stress, but He does call me to obey Him even when it is the last thing I want to do. 

So if a friend or family member needs help, and I find my blood pressure rising because I was just about to have some "me" time, I have two options: I can use my "introvert" status as an excuse, or I can realize that I am now at the end of myself and my strength, and turn to the power of the Holy Spirit like I should have been doing all along. 

With the right perspective, insight into my natural weaknesses and strengths can actually help me mature in Christ {Mt. 26:41, 1 Cor. 1:27}, but it does not give me a free pass to ignore certain commands of God because they go against my personality. And whether I am an introvert or an extrovert, above all as a Christian I am wholly a new creation in Christ! 

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3. Understanding how Jesus related to God and others can help us think Biblically about our personalities.

Neither being introverted nor extroverted is automatically more godly, but both can have this weakness in common: looking to man for fulfillment.

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So was Jesus an introvert or an extrovert?

Asking this question revealed a much deeper answer than I was expecting! Matthew 14:23 provides a great example of what was a habitual occurrence in Jesus' life: " And when {Jesus} had sent the multitudes away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray. Now when evening came, He was alone there."

Jesus spent time with the multitudes, and just that word "multitudes" challenges the introverted me.

But there came a time in His day when He sent them away, a difficulty for the extroverts out there.

However, it was what He did in that alone time that is key: He didn't look within, and He didn't look to others; He looked to His Father in Heaven.

So there you have it.

Introverts, we like to look in.

Extroverts, they tend to look out.

Believers need to look up.

“Recharging Danbo Power,” © 2013 Takashi Hososhima, used under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/3.0/.
Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

The Parable I Learned From An Orchid

It was orchid watering day when I nearly beheaded one of my plants.

Every couple weeks I spend a few moments over these flowers of mine, pretending to have a green thumb, enjoying the quiet.  I love it simply because orchids have enthralled me for as long as I can remember.  In fact, as a teenager I was sadly disappointed to read in one of the Anne of Green Gables books that orchids were too exotic to strike Anne's fancy.  To me, you see, the wide open blooms are like a welcoming smile on an honest face.  The blossoms floating from the stem conveys a grace I can only marvel at...

But back to my story...on this particular watering day I was delighted to notice new buds and blossoms on each one of my orchids.  Smiling happily, I worked to stake up a few of the stems burgeoning with heavy buds.  

Suddenly, I felt a sickening snap under my fingers as I straightened one stem against a stake, and realized to my horror that I had all but entirely snapped the stem in two.  It was hanging on by only a thread, and as I held the still-beautiful stem in my hand, I could hardly believe that I had really just broken it off.  The four or five buds it held, promising beautiful, luscious flowers in just a few weeks' time, now seemed to be taunting me of what I had destroyed.  

I didn't know what to do.  Should I snap it off the rest of the way and put the stem in a vase with the slim hope I would still get to see a few blooms?  Should I leave it there and hope the stem didn't grow diseased and infect the entire plant?  Although a quick internet search encouraged me in the snapping direction, I couldn't bring myself to do the deed.  So I just left the stem hanging on for dear life and ignored my sad little orchid for the next week or so, resigned to the fact that I had probably just killed any chance of blossoms from it for awhile.

But little did I know that while I left the broken stem for dead, something very alive was happening within that broken plant.  For fragile though orchids may appear, fussy though they may seem, they are actually among the most miraculous pictures of new birth that you will find in nature.

Some weeks later when I finally brought myself to assess the damage I had done, I could hardly believe I was looking at the same plant.  Not only had the broken stem begun to grow back together and continue to send life to the buds, but a new stem had begun to sprout from the break, and another little nub of a baby stem was beginning to peek out in a different spot.

I was astounded and humbled, and as I stared at the miracle blooming before my eyes, I realized the greater miracle the Creator of this orchid was teaching me:  that God is in the business of healing "the brokenhearted and bind[ing] up their wounds." {Ps. 147:3}  

He is the master of not just repair but rebirth. {Romans 6}

My orchid was not simply "just as good as before."  It was actually better than before, and isn't the analogy to our lives breathtaking?  God takes the broken stems of my life and the barely-born buds of vision that seem doomed to die and He sends life through them, growing stems and flowers beyond what I could have imagined. 

When a friend betrayed me, He became my Friend more truly than ever before.
When I was proud and tripped over my own ego, falling flat on my face, He picked me up and taught me humility.
When I was brokenhearted, He comforted me with His great grace, and I grasped for the first time just how un-graspable the well of His grace is.

So every time I look at my broken taped-up orchid and see not one, not two, but three potential stems and all the beauty they are pregnant with, I see myself.  I see my brokenness.  I see the tape holding my life and my heart together, and I see the new things God has done in me that He never could have accomplished had I remained unbroken.  And I marvel that, just as He has done throughout history, God used a humble flower to show me these truths.  

"Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these."
{Matthew 6:28b-29}

But I Will Never Run a Marathon

It was mid-day on Saturday, and I was dying.

My lungs were burning, and my fingers were freezing.  My knees were aching and my tongue was parched.  I had run 9.75 miles with the last quarter of a mile looming before me along with the knowledge that I was running beyond anything I had ever run before.  I felt like an explorer of the barren Antarctic or the moon, for that matter. 

Along with my equally crazy friend, Sarah, I am training for a half marathon next year, so last Saturday was another normal episode in the training process.  Normal, except for the fact that I had never run ten miles before in my life.  And two weeks before that, I had never run 8.5 miles before.  And two months before that, four miles was my comfort zone.  And believe me, the idea of running a half marathon is much more enticing than the actual torture part.    

So as I have pushed my comfortable distance just a little farther, as I have pushed my legs a little faster, and my heart a little harder, I have slowly edged forward.  And now, I find myself in the unique position of being beyond my comfort zone, looking back in to that empty box, and not missing any of it! 

My discoveries in my running shoes hold true in high heels as well, so no matter what shoes you wear, here are three reasons you should run through that comfort zone:

1. A comfort zone that is never challenged becomes a blindness to new possibilities. 
2. You cannot scale a mountain you have never climbed before without a Guide: Jesus becomes very real at the edges of our comfort zones! 
3. While comfort is not a sin, God's chief end is not for us to enjoy comfortable lives, but rather Christ-glorifying lives.  Comfort zones can become catch-alls for bad habits, laziness, and pride.

Paul loved his comfort zone of Pharisee-ism  until he was forced to confront how meaningless his comfort really was on the road to Damascus.  From then on, his life was not comfortable, but it was so much more.  Here is his perspective on comfort zones:

"Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.  Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.  Therefore let us, as many as are mature, have this mind; and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal even this to you. " {Philippians 3:12-15}

While I consider the fact that I am now becoming comfortable with the idea of a half-marathon, and quake in my running shoes at the thought of the full marathon, why don't we also consider what comfortable Christianity Christ is challenging in us?

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“Runner,” © 2013 Alexandra E Rust, used under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/3.0/.
Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Waiting in God's Best

After a whirlwind four-month courtship (which was really the culmination of a 22 year-long friendship), Joel and I got engaged (read our "Love Story" here!). We had stars in our eyes, we knew we loved each other--and we knew that God had called us to this marvelous thing called marriage. Less than a month later, however, we were both plunged into the darkest valley of our lives. Joel lost his job and so many things seemed to be spinning out of control. (You can read about our reunion in the midst of this, "Raindrops on Roses," here.)

I questioned God with honesty, sincerity, and fervency. Some of my rawest writing came out of that time, including "Jesus Wept {With Me}." And life didn't get easier as I hoped it might. "Joel's Graduation" was a bright spot of achievement during the summer, but our potential wedding date came and went. "You can't live on love alone!" I laughingly told the people who asked, while bleeding saltwater inside. 

God continued to provide for Joel in the lack of a full-time job through odd jobs and part-time work, proving Himself over and over again as the great Provider. Furthermore, He spiritually provided by continuing to teach us about Himself, such that Joel experienced a transformation in his relationship with God that affected every facet of both of our lives. As we drew closer to God, we also drew closer to each other, coming to know one another in a way that never would have been possible had the first wedding date not faded away.

And still no full-time work. There was the job that seemed God-given--but was given to someone else. There was the job that was an exciting adventure--but whose moral grayness caused us to examine our own convictions and led us to refuse the position. There was the job that was perfect! Joel applied for it in December, while he was visiting me ("Keeping Christmas"), and we were elated when he got not one but two interviews--and then an assigned project as part of the interview process. However, as the weeks stretched into months, we shivered against the cold question: "What if he didn't get this job?" When we were together in March ("On the Other Side of the Continent"), we found ourselves ecstatic to be together, but exhausted by the waiting and wondering. Miraculously, I was no longer questioning God. I was praying desperately that Joel would get this job, but I was also asking for strength to joyfully accept God's will no matter the outcome.

When the news came on April 2 that Joel hadn't gotten the job we had waited three months for, my spirit surged with peace. I sobbed, absolutely. I survived the first couple of days in a semi-catatonic state. Howbeit, I didn't question God anymore. I didn't even cling to the hope that something better would come along. That hope had fizzled months ago. Instead, a series of scenes flashed through my brain. In the kitchen with Mama as she shared of trusting in God through death. In the back of our church as a dear friend hugged me and said, "Trust God." As I whimpered back, "But it's so hard!" She repeated over and over again, "You have to trust God. You have to! Trust Him!" And then at my computer Skyping with Joel as he reminded me of the two most important things to remember: God is always good and be grateful.

My commitments still existed in a state of committed non-committal. My wedding seemed so far into the future that I could no longer even reach it. My harbored dreams for spring and summer plans were radically changed. Despite it all, I was OK. Suddenly I wasn't waiting for something better. Joel and I were in God's best right at that very moment. Far from being on hold, our lives were a construction zone for God--and He was about His best in our lives, just as He is in the lives of every one of His sons and daughters. 

Mid-April brought another application, which neither Joel nor I got excited about. Then came an interview...and another one! Proceeding so fast that we couldn't quite focus on the image, Joel abruptly had a job on May 5! Joel said it best when he wrote, "As you can imagine, Mikaela and I are very excited at this provision--one we have been praying for and desiring for a long time. And while it is easy in this moment to proclaim the Lord's goodness, we both can truly say that God has been just as good in the last many months of waiting and toiling in the other work He's provided. That was His best for then, just as this job is His best for now. Thank you all for your prayers and love and support through this year-long journey. Please continue to pray for Mikaela and I, as God continues to perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle' us (I Peter 5:10) in the days to come. He is good; He is trustworthy!"

So whatever your story is currently--whether it's the waiting or the fulfillment, the sorrowing or the rejoicing, never forget: God is good, and He is about His best in your life!

The Real McCoy

Who Are You?

Who are you really? Are you the responsible person your employer says you are? Are you the wise person those you are discipling say you are? Are you the good-hearted person those discipling you say you are? Are you the rambunctious person those who only knew you as a child say you are? Are you the disrespectful person your critics say you are? Are you the cold-hearted person your enemies say you are? Are you the person you think you are? Are you the person others think you are? Are you some amalgamation of all of the above, such that you are both nothing and everything in one fell swoop?

Wounds and Kisses

Give full credence to these voices and you are in grave danger. Blacklist these voices immediately and you risk ignoring a God-sent "Nathan" or "Barnabas." For if you believe and act on the words of every critic, you will become a broken and manipulated person who has forgotten that he is an image-bearer and who disbelieves the praise of loved ones. If you soak in every praise, every drop of flattery, and an ocean of love and forbearance, you'll find yourself a haughty, narcissistic, dependent individual who needs the acceptance of others like a parasite needs a host. You'll turn deaf ears to the words of pleading critics trying to show you the error of your ways.

"Do you look at things according to the outward appearance? If anyone is convinced in himself that he is Christ's, let him again consider this in himself, that just as he [is] Christ's, even so we [are] Christ's." {2 Corinthians 10:7 NKJV}

There is an opinion that matters more than any voice in your ear or head. Are you Christ's? If you are a blood-bought sinner, then you are now a child of the King, known by Him completely, utterly, and perfectly. Anything good you have done is through Him; any sin you have committed is covered by Him. You are made in His image, you are His masterpiece. And so are your critics and your group of adoring fans. 

So take it to the Lord. Take the criticism and the jabs and lay it before your Father Who knows you more than you know yourself. If you truly have the character flaw of which someone spoke, then you have not been unjustly accused. If this is not a character flaw of yours, your faithfulness to continue to act with character will eventually bring fruit. And, whether we're talking of praise or criticism, if your primary concern is not how you're looking on the outside (oooh!! does that look right? how will she perceive this or that? will I be able to convince him that this is who I truly am?), but rather to be known by God and to do all for God, controlled by the love of Christ and convinced by the unity that ALL Christians have together in Christ, then you have just hit the nail on the head. God will work on your character flaw--whether perceived or real. "Vindication" may not ever come. But if you can manage to do what you do for God, and let the rest take care of itself, then you will be in a place of peace. If you do what you do to convince man of who you are (persuading people because of your fear of man, not your fear of the Lord), then you will remain erratic, running betwixt and between the whims of others.

Remember, though--there is just as much (if not more) danger in pleasing words. For doesn't Proverbs 27:6  say "Faithful [are] the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy [are] deceitful"? Take those kisses to God. Don't take advantage of them; don't act for them; don't ask for them.

Be Well Pleasing to Christ

"Therefore we make it our aim, whether present or absent, to be well pleasing to Him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things [done] in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad. Knowing, therefore, the terror of the Lord, we persuade men; but we are well known to God, and I also trust are well known in your consciences. For we do not commend ourselves again to you, but give you opportunity to boast on our behalf, that you may have [an answer] for those who boast in appearance and not in heart. For if we are beside ourselves, [it is] for God; or if we are of sound mind, [it is] for you. For the love of Christ compels us, because we judge thus: that if One died for all, then all died; and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again." {2 Corinthians 5:9-15 NKJV}

 Live a life controlled by Christ and who you genuinely are will be known not only to God, but also to you.

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Good Girl = Good Life?

 Good Girl Equals Good Life

Cause and effect is a truism in the heart of man. We put 100 cents into a vending machine and cry “scam” if nothing comes out. We live an upright life and anticipate a good name and reputation. We work hard and spend and save money wisely and expect to stay out of poverty.

Sometimes, we think that if we were homeschooled, then we are entitled to “superior” spiritual and educational status. We subconsciously act as if when we minister to others then they will love us. And at times, we think that if we set the right boundaries, then we won’t fall prey to sin, or if we love children that we will have lots, or if we cross every t and dot every i of courtship, that we won’t have a broken heart, or if we dress modestly then everyone will treat us like ladies, or if we read our Bible every day then we’ll know God’s answers to everything, or if we don’t go into debt, then we’ll succeed financially, or if we live at home then we won’t have an independent spirit, or if we raise our children the right way then they’ll never rebel.

Have you ever echoed Jeremiah's thoughts on the wicked? I know I have. There are times when I’ve felt—without even realizing it—that I am being a good girl, so why doesn’t the world just cooperate and allow me a good life! When things get tough, I brood, wondering if I’m really in God’s will. Why is it working out so well for everyone else, but not for me? What have they done right that I have done wrong? My sense of entitlement burned a crater within me.

Good God Equals Glorifying Life

God Himself has put this understanding of cause and effect in our hearts because it is a part of His own character (Galatians 6:7). The world calls it karma or imagines an afterlife scale of good works versus bad or reincarnation based upon one’s righteousness. But the true effect for every cause won’t be made manifest until the end of this age at the ultimate reckoning when God judges the world.

We understand that life isn’t a vending machine, that man is inherently sinful, that the ultimate reward of eternal life isn’t based on what we did (good works) but what we received (salvation). Tribulation is a promise (John 16:33) for those who follow God and do good!

If you’ve examined yourself in the suffering and found that you are not suffering for wrongdoing (a cause and effect everyone can support!) then do not be surprised (I Peter 4:12-13). Yours may not be a “good” life right now—but there is a good God Who asks you to glorify Him anyways. Don’t waver. Don’t think that hardship only befalls the evil, or that you must have shorted the cosmic vending machine somewhere along the way. God has covered you with His good, and you’re in the midst of a cause and effect much greater than you. This cause and effect spans centuries and transcends your mortal life. This cause and effect reaches all the way into an eternity that commences with “Well done, my good and faithful servant,” and continues with worshiping God. The grievous cause is ephemeral. And the effect? It never ceases.

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