The Desire
Have you ever asked God, “Why did you give me this vision—this desire that burns so greatly in my heart—only to leave it unfulfilled?” There are times in my life where I begin to think my hopes and dreams are just a mirage. Perhaps I was mistaken when I believed God anointed me for a very special task. Was I tuned in to the wrong station when I heard Him so clearly point me to marriage and motherhood? This isn't just an issue of marriage, though: college, discipling, and teaching music have all been points of desire and doubt in my life as well.
Let me know if this sounds familiar. A man or woman of God, your parents, a trusted friend, or the Spirit of God calls to you a vision for the future. Through prayer, Scripture reading, and further counsel, you realize that this call comes from the Holy Spirit Himself, and with great delight and joy, you now prepare for this exciting new piece of the jigsaw puzzle of life to be clicked into place.
But then, whether your business is floundering, or your ministry idea isn’t even past the paper-planning stage, or there are no eligible guys for miles around, you find yourself waiting. Patiently. Impatiently. Contentedly. Discontentedly. Joyfully. Morosely. Waiting.
The Anointing
All this waiting on God reminds me of more than just my current situation, however. It reminds me of a man who had to wait twenty years between the time of his anointing and the manifestation of his purpose. In those two decades, King David went through a time of preparation and growth in his father’s house and practical training in the palace of King Saul
Long before he was accustomed to a title before his name, David was merely a shepherd boy--the last on Samuel's list of possibilities, but the first and only name on God's candidate list. "And Samuel said to Jesse, 'Are all the young men here?' Then he said, 'There remains yet the youngest, and there he is, keeping the sheep.'And Samuel said to Jesse, 'Send and bring him. For we will not sit down till he comes here.' So he sent and brought him in. Now he was ruddy, with bright eyes, and good-looking. And the Lord said, 'Arise, anoint him; for this is the one!' Then Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the midst of his brothers; and the Spirit of the Lord came upon David from that day forward. So Samuel arose and went to Ramah (I Samuel 16:11-13)."
Wouldn't it be wonderful if I was in the throes of finalizing my taxes tomorrow (as I plan on being), when all of a sudden, my family comes rushing up to call me down and meet the prophet Samuel--the most beloved and respected man in my country. And then imagine him commanding me to kneel before him as he anoints me with oil and gives me a purpose and a goal larger than myself. Imagine the delight of being filled with the Spirit and knowing. And yet, I have been anointed: I have been filled with the Spirit.
Long before he was accustomed to a title before his name, David was merely a shepherd boy--the last on Samuel's list of possibilities, but the first and only name on God's candidate list. "And Samuel said to Jesse, 'Are all the young men here?' Then he said, 'There remains yet the youngest, and there he is, keeping the sheep.'And Samuel said to Jesse, 'Send and bring him. For we will not sit down till he comes here.' So he sent and brought him in. Now he was ruddy, with bright eyes, and good-looking. And the Lord said, 'Arise, anoint him; for this is the one!' Then Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the midst of his brothers; and the Spirit of the Lord came upon David from that day forward. So Samuel arose and went to Ramah (I Samuel 16:11-13)."
Wouldn't it be wonderful if I was in the throes of finalizing my taxes tomorrow (as I plan on being), when all of a sudden, my family comes rushing up to call me down and meet the prophet Samuel--the most beloved and respected man in my country. And then imagine him commanding me to kneel before him as he anoints me with oil and gives me a purpose and a goal larger than myself. Imagine the delight of being filled with the Spirit and knowing. And yet, I have been anointed: I have been filled with the Spirit.
"Now He who establishes us with you in Christ and has anointed us is God, who also has sealed us and given us the Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee (2 Corinthians 1:21-22)."
The Doubting
Now you might think, as I once did, that the vision which God gave David for his future and the vision God has given you for your future are not the same. David's future was so certain, so established, while yours is precarious and unsettled, something you keep quiet about and hope for the best. David established himself by habitually seeking the Lord, and through that came the certainty and success of his future:
"Therefore David inquired of the LORD, saying, 'Shall I go and attack these Philistines?” And the LORD said to David, “Go and attack the Philistines, and save Keilah (I Samuel 23:2).'"
Just because he was anointed by the prophet Samuel (as we who are saved have been anointed by God) and filled with the Spirit (as we have also been) does not mean the path to the palace was easy. How about I Samuel 27:1?
"And David said in his heart, 'Now I shall perish someday by the hand of Saul. There is nothing better for me than that I should speedily escape to the land of the Philistines; and Saul will despair of me, to seek me anymore in any part of Israel. So I shall escape out of his hand.'"
And how about Abraham who learned from God Himself that he would have a son in his old age and countless descendants? He couldn't handle the disquiet in his own soul, so he took matters into his own hands with Hagar (see Genesis 16). If Abraham and David questioned the calling of God in their life, it is very likely we will too.
Have you doubted God about His call on your life? Have you vacillated between taking things into your own hands and resting in God? I know I have faltered in my calling to be a wife and a mother in God's timing. But I rejoice at David's example of patiently waiting, which is the key to entering the magnificent mansion before us (more on that in Part II!). If you are willing, please share the calling you are wrestling with now; I will gladly pray for you, and I know that we can encourage each other in steadfastness to our calling.
Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Wow, Mikaela, the timeliness of this post is amazing! The questions you asked in your last paragraph are ones I have been struggling with just recently, even today. Honestly, it seems we are wrestling with some of the same desires - a home, family, children. And it seems that literally, there are no eligible guys for miles around! (But God knows best!) I will be praying for you! :)
ReplyDeleteHi Mikaela,
ReplyDeleteThanks for this post. I'm struggling with God's timing in sending me a husband so that I can be a wife and mother. As my 25th birthday approaches I'm beginning to get restless (It doesn't help that a lot of my friends are either in relationships or getting married). I know that God's timing is best and I am committed to wait until he sees that I'm fit for marriage, but it's still difficult. Please pray that I continue to be content on where God has me now, and I will continue to pray for you too :)
P.S. This post couldn't have come at a better time! :)
God Bless,
Ashley-Joy <3
You know, there is nothing new under the sun, as Ecclesiastes says. Gives us THAT much more of a reason to share in each others burdens, struggles, joys, and triumphs. Thanks for sharing and praying--I will certainly be praying for you!
ReplyDeleteWaiting....One of God's favorite things to teach His people to do well!!! Even so, we certainly do make Him work hard at it don't we?
ReplyDeleteI know that I am miserably impatient when it comes to the bigger picture. I want to keep moving forward, keep doing the next thing, and you know, so often that's exactly what it is. I'm cruising along through life just doing my thing. Not God's thing, for me, but my thing for me.
What a way to waste it! In our waiting we must be becoming, often we must be doing, but sometimes we must also be willing to trust and be still. I am convinced that these times can be filled with study and prayer in order to prepare us for whatever it is will be coming to us in His timing. So, even then, as we are trusting and being still we are becoming, we are doing, and it cannot be said that we have wasted even that portion of our life.
I am looking forward to reading what else you have to say!
Victoria {adorable profile pic, btw}
ReplyDeleteBeautifully put. You are so right that waiting is not at all passive, but rich and full of preparation and lessons to learn!
This is very nice! This is definitely something that every Christian young girl must go through. I do believe in more conservative circles the desire for marriage and children is a common one. But no matter what it is we are waiting for one thing we need to remember is not to grow discontent in our present circumstances. As Victoria said, it is a time of growing. We should never lose sight of this as we wait. Thank you so much for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI just posted a poem (not my own) on my blog about "waiting". I invite everyone over to share their thoughts as this subject is one many need encouragement in. Don't be afraid to share an edifying comment. :)
Siedah
girlzofgraceforchrist.blogspot.com
I am a bit older than you, and would like to share something I've learned.
ReplyDeleteWhen I am waiting, waiting, waiting on something and it doesn't happen, it often pays to stop and re-think things.
In your case, do you think waiting for a husband to appear is the best way to go? Perhaps it is best to go about living your life as it is? Perhaps you should set new goals and let your future husband appear when he will. Perhaps--this is most important--some of the things you were taught in childhood no longer apply.
Your life sounds very isolated. Why aren't you out in the world, as Scripture commands? There is nothing in Scripture that says you need to be under a father's authority at your age. Could your isolation be the reason you have not met anyone yet? How is anyone to find you, isolated as you are?
You have values, instilled inside of you. You are not about to compromise those values. Why stay at home, alone, when there is a whole world out there to explore? Do you really need to be under anyone's protection at this point in your life--especially when thre is no Scriptural basis for it?
Siedah--thanks for the thoughtful comment! How wonderful to be waiting on the God of the universe Who has every event of our lives orchestrated in detail!
ReplyDeleteDear Kath,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your respectful comment; I appreciate it when people realize that we can disagree civilly on the internet! And disagree we do, it seems. I am fairly certain nothing I say will change your mind, but please allow me to at least clarify my stance on this issue.
First of all, I am using King David as an example of waiting—he is a man who had to wait for twenty years before his wait came to an end and he was crowned king. Certainly, if David could wait that long for something to come to fruition, it is not unBiblical for us to wait that long or longer.
Secondly (and this will come out more, I hope, in future posts in this series), “getting hitched” is not the be-all, end-all of my life. It is not my life’s ultimate goal or aim, nor is it something I sit about wringing my hands over. It is most definitely a calling I feel on my life from the Holy Spirit, but I have other goals and dreams. I wholeheartedly agree with your statement, “Perhaps you should set new goals and let your future husband appear when he will.”
Thirdly, I am not isolated, I am out in the world, and I am not at all worried about someone “finding me.” I’d much rather meet someone in daily life than in a bar or on eharmony. =) I have a full music teaching schedule with 18 students (whom I teach at a church and a school in our community), I teach a community music group class, I play and perform in a community symphony, I continue to take piano lessons, I attend church functions one to three times per week, I hang out with friends often for meals, conversation, and coffee, and I go to concerts, movies, and the like. Not that you wanted my whole social life =), but my point is that I am always around people, going somewhere, and doing something. Life is full, beautiful, and anything but isolated.
Finally, thank you for the compliment: “You have values, instilled inside of you. You are not about to compromise those values.” I must give that credit to my parents and God. I do disagree with you that there is no Scriptural basis for staying at home under my father’s authority. Now is certainly not the place or time to distill a doctoral thesis on the matter, but I will leave you with a few verses:
Numbers 30:16, which assumes as normal that a daughter would be in her father’s house: “These are the statutes which the LORD commanded Moses, between a man and his wife, and between a father and his daughter in her youth in her father’s house.”
Genesis 2:24, which shows a young man not seperating from his family until marriage (application can also be made to the young woman): “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Also, the fact that the positive examples of young women set forth in Scripture are far and away young women living in their fathers’ homes, must be taken into consideration.
Once again, I thank you for sharing from your wisdom, and I take to heart your advice on setting new goals and moving forward. This is always my desire and aspiration, and that—through these goals and actions—I might bring glory to God.
God causes things to happen at exactly the right time! Your job is not to figure out when, but to make up your mind that you won't give up until you cross the finish line and are living in the radical, outrageous blessings of God!
ReplyDeleteAmen! Thanks for commenting!
ReplyDelete