Pacific City is one of my favorite stretches of beach on the Oregon Coast. I love climbing the huge sand dune there and overlooking the frothy, wind-foamed waves. But at the height of this peaceful viewpoint there is a sign as out of place as a ringtone in the midst of a lullaby.
“Danger!” it proclaims. “Beware of unstable areas and shifting sand.” It seems dramatic, and a definite fun-killer, but when you learn the back story—how many people have fallen off the unstable bluff and drowned—you realize the kindness of such a sign. It’s not a disruption, but a revelation.
And that what I’ve come to realize 2020 has been for me.
But my emotions this year have often revealed it for me. I have certainly felt the unstable areas and shifting sands in the world around me and the ground beneath me and my heart within me. 2020 has put on display all that is unstable in this world, and all that is unstable in my heart and affections. I certainly have not suffered like I know so many have, yet even missing my minor comforts, conveniences, and companionship has made me feel the gloom and isolation of the year. And I have had to ask myself: why is my heart so heavy when others are suffering so much more? God, where are you in 2020?
Standing
atop that dune in Pacific City, if you let your eyes trail beyond the garish
“Danger!” sign, you will see Haystack Rock. It is as solid and steady and
unmoving as the bluff is shaky and temporary and sinking. Therein lies the
symbolism of why 2020 may just be the most important year of my life. Because through all the hardship
it has been like that sign, not just warning me of the dangerous ground my
fleshly heart clings to, but also pointing me beyond. Pointing me to the Rock that
is higher than I, who has been here this whole time.
“God is not
dead, nor does He sleep”—even in 2020! So what greater mercy could there be than
to remind me to place my hope on the solid Rock of Christ instead of the
sinking sand of earthly comfort? What richer kindness could exist than for the
Lord to reveal where my heart was beginning to cling to unstable ground? It is not cruel to take away the things that distract me from God, for in Him is my ultimate satisfaction.
I am reminded of why the persecuted Christians of North Korea said they were praying for us: “Because Christians in the West still have some wealth and freedom and power. Most have not yet experienced what it is like when all you have in life is God.*”
2020 has begun to answer their prayer. I am still learning to view this year and the next not so much as disruption but more as a kind revelation that all I have in life really is God. A sign warning me the unstable bluff is sinking, but also reminding me the Solid Rock still stands against the storm. What could be more important than that?
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*These Are the Generations, Mr. and Mrs. Bae, as told to Eric Foley
I needed this so much today Kathy! There are battles on every side going on but thinking about that rock is the picture I needed reminded of once again.
ReplyDeleteI have missed reading your posts so much! I read this blog from the start, and always wondered what had happened when you dropped off the face of the earth. You might think that it's only 'local' people reading your blog, but I'm all the way over in England and so glad to finally see something on here. Reading this blog years ago helped me to become a Christian.
ReplyDeleteI would love an update of what your family is up to, if you are happy to share? It's so many years since you posted and everyone must be grown up by now!
Hi Samantha! Thank you for your kind words and making my day with this comment. That is so incredible to hear the God used this blog to help you become a Christian! I am so humbled by that, and I would love to hear more of that story if you wouldn't mind sharing. I'll share a little update here, but perhaps you could comment with your email address, and I won't publish it, but I can get in touch with you. I'd love to talk more with you!
DeleteMikaela is still on the East coast, and has three adorable children. I am teaching music at a Christian school as well as private lessons, and I have three siblings in college right now! We are all doing really well--God has been good. Thank you again for reaching out and for reading! I'd love to hear more from you!