This was going to be the blog post where I told you about Joel's new job, miraculously provided and providentially miraculous. Two weeks ago, he and I talked and prayed concerning this very job, keenly aware that there was no such current opening. While we were praying, an email landed in Joel's inbox--the exact job opening! Days of waiting later, and then he got called in for an interview--Hallelujah! I told God that He would get all the glory for this one, for only He could have orchestrated it so clearly.
And then...no job. So, just in case I've somehow given you the impression that mine is a charmed life filled from dawn till dusk with teaching music to angelic sweethearts, happily planning the "perfect" wedding, and drinking lattes and getting pedicures in the in-between times, allow me to set the record straight. This was not in the plan, this wasn't what I wanted--and I had been convinced from the bottom of my toes to the top of my head that my plan was also God's plan.
In the very moment of rebellious doubt, came the unrelenting conviction to fall on my knees before my God and to praise Him for His sovereign work in our lives. There was no smile on my face. There was no great peace in my heart. I cried, because the death of a vision hurts. I knew God had a beautiful plan, but nevertheless, I cried, because right then it hurt.
Jesus knew the beautiful plan for His friend Lazarus, and yet He wept. He cried because loss hurts. His tears didn't mean that He didn't trust God; they were an acknowledgement of the pain that comes from living in this fallen world. Jesus knows the beautiful plan for His children--for you and for Joel and I. And yet He still cries with us. And then He whispers in our ear, "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy [comes] in the morning (Psalms 30:5b)."
So I cried, but as I prayed and praised, I also trusted. God gets the glory, even with no job.
Oh, and if you know of any jobs open for a brilliant, eloquent, godly, principled, friendly, diligent, patriotic lawyer, drop me a note, won't you?
Photo Credit: Taylor Dawn Fortune
Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.