This was going to be the blog post where I told you about Joel's new job, miraculously provided and providentially miraculous. Two weeks ago, he and I talked and prayed concerning this very job, keenly aware that there was no such current opening. While we were praying, an email landed in Joel's inbox--the exact job opening! Days of waiting later, and then he got called in for an interview--Hallelujah! I told God that He would get all the glory for this one, for only He could have orchestrated it so clearly.
And then...no job. So, just in case I've somehow given you the impression that mine is a charmed life filled from dawn till dusk with teaching music to angelic sweethearts, happily planning the "perfect" wedding, and drinking lattes and getting pedicures in the in-between times, allow me to set the record straight. This was not in the plan, this wasn't what I wanted--and I had been convinced from the bottom of my toes to the top of my head that my plan was also God's plan.
In the very moment of rebellious doubt, came the unrelenting conviction to fall on my knees before my God and to praise Him for His sovereign work in our lives. There was no smile on my face. There was no great peace in my heart. I cried, because the death of a vision hurts. I knew God had a beautiful plan, but nevertheless, I cried, because right then it hurt.
Jesus knew the beautiful plan for His friend Lazarus, and yet He wept. He cried because loss hurts. His tears didn't mean that He didn't trust God; they were an acknowledgement of the pain that comes from living in this fallen world. Jesus knows the beautiful plan for His children--for you and for Joel and I. And yet He still cries with us. And then He whispers in our ear, "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy [comes] in the morning (Psalms 30:5b)."
So I cried, but as I prayed and praised, I also trusted. God gets the glory, even with no job.
Oh, and if you know of any jobs open for a brilliant, eloquent, godly, principled, friendly, diligent, patriotic lawyer, drop me a note, won't you?
Photo Credit: Taylor Dawn Fortune
Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Indeed this was very convicting.. thank-you for posting this, Mikaela. Praying.
ReplyDeleteThank you Nela!
DeleteMikaela, I am so sorry to hear of this disappointment and will be praying for God to open a different and even better door for Joel and you. I have been struggling with some, though smaller, disappointments, and have to keep reminding myself to keep focused on God my Provider. He knows what we need, and most of all, when we need it.
ReplyDeleteReally, when it comes right down to it, we're all going through similar struggles and similar opportunities for learning! And you're so right--He knows what we need and when we need it. It is good to learn to trust our good God!
DeleteHey Girl!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you found my blog! Google is good for that! :)
Actually I made sure to hand a piece of paper and a pen to Joel before he left and got your blog address! I had looked at it just did not get around to commenting yet! Im glad you beat me to it! :)
This blog make's me smile! Y'all are so encourging! I cant wait to read more :)
We need to get connected thru email or something too! I really enjoyed are talk on Sunday, It was NOT long enough! I tryed to reply back to your comment on my blog thru email but looks like you have it set up so I cant. Your welcome to email me thru my blog email cooking4him at gmail dot com and I'll get you my personal email if you want!
Praying for you dear! May God show how mighty He is in your life!
XOXO
Joanna Noel