Selfie of a Single

Are all your friends getting married, but you've resigned yourself to the fact that the only way you'll ever find The One is if Prince Charming drops from the sky onto your windshield?

Did you spend Valentine's Day in pajamas?

Did you move your purity ring from your left hand to your right because you were tired of people asking if you were engaged?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then I hate to break it to you, but you are probably single!

Sarcasm aside, if God has you single right now, you can trust that you are in the best place possible to fulfill His will through you.  And the moment that changes, it won't take men dropping from the sky for you to notice!

In the meantime, I have noticed a troubling trend in myself as well as in other single girls.  It is a problem found both among unbelievers and believers.  It is a disability that threatens to blind us to the beautiful purposes for which God has us single right now, and render us unfit in God's army.

Wake up, my single sister, and  smell the odor of selfishness.  

As singles, we are particularly prone to this sin. 

Let's face it: you really have no choice but to die to self when you're waking up for 2 am and 6 am feedings every night (have fun, Mikaela!).  

You have no choice but to die to self when facing a mountain of chores and housework and entrepreneurial endeavors and homeschooling all at once!  

While not all married women are supremely selfless, marriage tends to refine you in that area rather quickly!  On the other hand, just like our shower seems to be the perfect Petri dish for mildew no matter how hard or often I scrub it, so the single years seem to be the perfect breeding ground for selfishness.  

But they don't have to be if you discover a few important truths.

Realize that isolation and insulation are the greatest allies of selfishness. 

Picture this: sweat pants on, bowl of ice cream in hand, your favorite movie or book at the ready, and you are set for a single's date night.  

I find that it is always at this juncture that a family member bursts into my room with a world calamity/English question/announcement that I have a pile of dishes to wash that rivals the Eiffel Tower in height.  And of course I respond, "Why thank you for giving me this sanctifying opportunity to deny myself!"

In all seriousness, though, my response when I pull my face out of that bowl of ice cream is the best gauge I know of for testing where my heart is at and who is on its throne.  And this is a huge part of why I continue to live at home.  As an adult under my parents' roof, I have freedom and adulthood, but I am also brought face to face daily with my own ugliness: I am selfless only as long as my own plans are not thwarted or my own comfort is not threatened. 

While I recognize that living on your own takes its own set of responsibility and dishwashing skills, there is really nothing like living in close quarters with fellow sons of Adam and daughters of Eve to bring selfishness to the surface, ready to be rooted out!  And there is nothing like isolating and insulating yourself from relationship for breeding selfishness like rabbits.

So seek out accountability.   Seek out opportunities to immerse yourself in relationships and service.  These are the greatest enemies of selfishness.

 

Check back next week for the conclusion of this post!