Lauren and Mikaela--identical twins living on opposite coasts--blog about the story of life and their adventures in faith.


The Conclusion of the Myth of the No Man's Land Between Childhood and Marriage

Little Girl Lost

I know the myth of the no man's land is a genuine problem because of the outpouring of responses I received last week: some were heartfelt encouragement, some were heartfelt concern that I am stuck in the no man's land, and some were heart-agitating debate. 
In any case, you can read that post here, in which I shared the truth God has driven home to me recently: God tailored this season in my life for me as the way I could best glorify Him right now.  Now, as promised, I want to share the second way in which single daughters can stop wandering aimlessly and start being mighty forces for God's kingdom in our single years! 

2. You have a mighty influence on your


Mighty, forceful, compelling, staggering.  More than you know. 
And it’s not so much in what you say you stand for, but in how you live your life.  If you doubt me, consider the unnamed firstborn of Lot who proposed grotesque immorality to her younger sister and led the way to bearing children who would be forever enemies of the children of Israel and of God.  {Genesis 19:30-38}
If I am indulging in habits, even in secret, my siblings will know and will likely follow my example. 
If I fail to praise my siblings, they will not respond to my most earnest nagging.
If, twenty years down the road, I realize that one weakness of mine, one cherished attitude or point of pride helped to lead my siblings astray, I will mourn for the time I lost. 

3. Your wisdom or lack thereof carries

weight for eternity.

Weight, significance, consequences, impact, repercussions.

On one of my first explorations into our acres of woods, I spotted a picturesque spot and ran for it: springing right into a line of barbed wire overgrown with foliage.  Let's just say I never made that mistake again!  But if you are a single daughter living at home it can be easy to pitch right into the barbed wire of foolishness which comes from either discontentment or carelessness.  

I know, because I have been caught in that very barbed wire.  Christ knew this, too, which is why He gave the very apt parable of the five wise virgins and the five foolish.  They were awaiting the bridegroom in their position as bridesmaids, giddy and excited about the night’s festivities.  But even in that seemingly small role as bridesmaid, the foolish ones failed to look ahead and take oil for their lamps.    
 “And at midnight a cry was heard: 'Behold, the bridegroom is coming; go out to meet him!'…And the foolish said to the wise, 'Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.'  But the wise answered, saying, 'No, lest there should not be enough for us and you; but go rather to those who sell, and buy for yourselves.' 

“And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the wedding; and the door was shut.  Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, 'Lord, Lord, open to us!' But he answered and said, 'Assuredly, I say to you, I do not know you.' Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour in which the Son of Man is coming. {Matthew 25:6, 8-13}”

If I am living my life exactly as I am now when Christ returns, will I be satisfied that I did all I could for Him?

The Myth Destroyed

Girls, here is the convicting part: the myth that if you are a single, adult daughter you are in a no man’s land between childhood and marriage is worse than a myth—it is a deception by the prince of darkness.  Frankly, the truth is that we are not in a no man’s land: we are in a no-holds-barred, no-prisoners-taken battle. 
Satan attacks us with this deception because if he can convince us that contentment will only come with a change in relationship status or that our true effectiveness for God's kingdom will only come when we have a husband, or that true adulthood is only achieved when we are out on our own, or that we are generally in a no man's land between girlhood and womanhood, then he has succeeded in rendering us useless for what God wants us to do nowThat is indisputable, while the only question remaining is this: “Which side are you fighting for today?” 

Photo Credit: Ray Wewerka


  1. What a good conclusion to the your previous post, Lauren! I agree whole-heartily!! What a blessing to know someone else who is convicted in this area as well!


  2. For what can be a delicate subject with many woman you have embraced well. It is deception, false truths which en-snare so many and how the prince of darkness controls so much of the world. This kind of play on our insecurities is what is most effective and as a result we need to be most mindful of. Don't develop a low self-esteem or become too proud but always know that God has a plan which He is working out in your life and through your life. The key is I think to always be looking forward to what is still to come, the promises we have been given, the return of Christ - whilst simultaneously not forgetting the importance of now. To not be afraid of the future but letting the hope which is always ahead of you be a driving force in how God might be working in your life now. Does that make sense? Anyway, good job!

  3. Wise words! Thanks for sharing. :) Satan never stops trying to get us to be complacent and content to sit back and wait for "real life to begin. Seasons change but his attempts to get us to stand still never cease. Why not begin using each season WELL today, right in this one we are in? God is at work, God has given us this season, there is always work to do! Life to be lives. Joy to have and share.

    Thanks for sharing a piece of yours!

  4. While I can understand the no man's land idea (I am currently in a similar one, the widow's) there is no way that it is anything to do with a plan by some evil presence. I do not believe in a being who is against, who is Satan. I believe you either have a good relationship with God or you do not, with all the consequences noted. It isn't Satan who will get me locked out it is myself and no other. Our Lent question this year is "What can I change about my everyday life to be closer to God?" Please forget about battles and fighting against evil, seek perfect understanding in your relationships, with God and those you meet in life. Evil dies faster that way.

    1. Aran,

      Mark 1:13 says, "And He [Jesus] was there in the wilderness forty days, tempted by Satan, and was with the wild beasts; and the angels ministered to Him."

      Romans 16:20 says, "And the God of peace will crush Satan under your feet shortly. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. Amen."

      And Genesis 3 provides the foundation of it all. Truly, Scripture cannot be understood apart from the knowledge that Satan is very real, but God has very real triumph over him.


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