Lord I Need You

It has been one of those weeks.

But I told Lauren I wouldn't whine through the whole blog post. Maybe just the beginning, eh?

Most stressful and emotional and all-consuming has been a major surgery Mama went through last Thursday. Home from the hospital only since Sunday night, we have already had to make another trek to the doctor's office to address complications. Dealing with extreme pain, insomnia, and the lovely side effects of all the pain meds has been brutal for Mama and stressful for the rest of us. Add on top of that Melanie's college finals, sickness for four out of the eight of us, two concerts in a weekend, teaching, and lessons, and we have had one of those weeks. 

Photo Credit

But it is during these kinds of weeks, when I have to remind myself to breathe and I barely have time to consume dinner, that I suddenly feel compelled to take extra time with God and His Word. I have abruptly realized how weak I am, and in tears, I go to Isaiah and read the precious words there. I wish it were not so; I wish I was as dependent upon God in the good times as I am in the bad. I'm working on that--when life is whistling along and I'm feeling tremendous, I'll remind myself of this feeling of a helpless babe held securely in God's arms.

      "Have you not known?
      Have you not heard?
      The everlasting God, the LORD,
      The Creator of the ends of the earth,
      Neither faints nor is weary.
      His understanding is unsearchable.
       He gives power to the weak,
      And to those who have no might He increases strength.
       Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
      And the young men shall utterly fall,
       But those who wait on the LORD
      Shall renew their strength;
      They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
      They shall run and not be weary,
      They shall walk and not faint (Isaiah 40:28-31)."

One of my favorite hymns is "Lord I Need You" by Ron Hamilton, and that has been a great comfort to me this week:

Sometimes when life seems gentle and blessings flood my way,
I turn my gaze away from You and soon forget to pray.
But when the sky grows darker and courage turns to fear,
My anxious voice cries upward with words you long to hear.

Chorus:

Lord, I need You when the sea of life is calm.
O Lord, I need You when the wind is blowing strong.
Whether trials come or cease, keep me always on my knees.
Lord, I need You. Lord I need You.

Lord, help me to remember I'm weak but You are strong.
I cannot sing apart from You, for Lord You are my song.
Although I'm prone to wander and boast in all I do;
Lord keep my eyes turned upward so I depend on You.

Last night, I dreamt that Jesus came back. What a wonderful lovely dream to have last night! It put things in perspective and reminded me, once again, not to worry so much about all the dirty laundry I haven't gotten to, and the clean laundry that is molding into the shape of our laundry baskets, and the Christmas gifts I have yet to make, and the Christmas traditions I am cheating my younger siblings of because of my preoccupation with other things. This life is the indent to the first paragraph of a great novel called Eternity. 

So I'm living today with Eternity reflecting in my eyes and God's Word in my heart, and I'm writing this post so I can come back next week and remind my forgetful self.   

 

Photograph: Dia