In Which I Shock You

I have a confession to make. And it is shocking news. I only beg that you will try not to think any less of me for my mistake. Just a few days ago, Mikaela discovered an atrocity on our blog. I’m ashamed even to tell you about it—I can’t bear to look at the keys as I type. On second thought, though, I probably should look at the keys, because the atrocity came in the despicable form of a typo. OK—now it’s out there. I can breathe a little easier.
However, this is no laughing matter—an extra “y” in our header. Our HEADER! I am shocked, first of all, that I never noticed it in the gazillion times I read the header and second of all that you, my faithful readers, failed to alert me to it in the hundred gazillion times you have read it. You have to understand how difficult this is for me since I abide by a strict no-typos-allowed policy. I spot them on other people’s blogs, in books, in magazines, and on signs. But never before have I spotted a typo on my own blog that had sequestered itself in such an obvious place for so long.
Let's face it--a typographical error is a giant neon sign that declares to the world, “Oh—I need to proofreed?” The aggravating thing is that, for me anyways, this implication is simply not true. I read a page over and over only to come back to it later and see the giant, neon, misspelled word. I’m doomed.
The most pernicious typos are those that masquerade as a real word. They duck under the radar of the spell check, thus avoiding the death sentence. The typo that infiltrated our blog was of just that sneaky ilk. I am relieved to tell you, however, that I have since taken care of the error, so you can feel free to start sleeping through the night again now that your conscience has been relieved.
With that problem in my past (soon to be distant, distant past, I hope), I am considering how to avoid future massacres of the English language. I could always go back to the method the scribes used for copying out the Bible. They found that a good motivation helped—after all, the belief that you would go to Hell if you made a single error tends to inspire. But then again, copying out three million characters in poor light from a copy of a copy is quite the daunting task. I’m grateful, then, that God was the proofreader for that work, for I can verify that the breathtaking accuracy of the Bible is certainly not due to any human spelling genius! I mean, Hebrew and Greek…who came up with those languages?
And now, whith that exercise in humility, I’m off to reed the dictionary. A girl’s got too have fun, you know. [sic]