Guest Post By Karen
For me, the commitment and desire for courtship was a prolonged journey of faith….trusting God that he would fulfill the desires of my heart in His perfect time. Though I had always imagined that I’d be married by age 21, the Lord had better plans for me, which would not be possible until I was 30! During this waiting period, I had many “ups and downs” in my trust in God for this as I began to wonder if the Lord did indeed have someone for me or if my waiting was in vain. Through this time there were several possible suitors interested in me, and some whose interest I found mutual. I was very vulnerable to settling for less than God’s best for me as I had such a strong desire to be married ever since I was a little girl. But, I am so grateful that the Lord kept me for His best for me…my Adam!
In our case courtship worked a little differently than the norm as my father had passed away earlier in the same year that our courtship began. My brother, Craig, had taken on the role of provider and protector of my sister and I, so as seemed natural in the situation, Adam contacted him primarily in regard to his interest in me, though my mom was considered as well. Craig’s initial approach was to write me a nonchalant e-mail in regard to Adam. Basically, he just asked me what my thoughts were about Adam in relationship to me. I thought that was funny and wondered what made him think of that being as he knew that someone else was interested in me at the time, and, after all, I had never noticed any interest in me from Adam – I was nearly 5 ½ years older than him. I told Craig that I respected Adam very much and thought he was a great guy. (I had always thought of him as a possibility for my sister, but not myself). Little did I know that Adam had actually already given Craig a phone call in regard to his interest in me. Craig was just trying to feel me out about the matter before telling me up front!
A few days later, on Sat., Dec.10, 2005, I received a phone call from Craig telling me of Adam’s phone call, indicating that he had called asking for permission to court me! I was very shocked!!! I think that I was a little speechless at the time, and didn’t quite know what to say, so didn’t say much except that I would think and pray about it, and would want to take it slow. The next morning I woke up at 4:15 with this on my mind and prayed through it. God’s only answer seemed to be “when I turn to the right hand or to the left I will hear a voice behind me saying, ‘This is the way, walk ye in it!’” Craig called Adam after hearing from me Sunday evening and told him that I would like to get to know him more on a casual basis, though I wasn’t ready to enter into a focused courtship at this time. Adam had an e-mail for me Monday morning asking me if he could call me that night, which he did. We talked for an hour and 4 minutes. (-:
Adam wanted to talk again Wed. evening, but I wasn’t available so we talked on Thursday evening. He wanted to hear from me what my position was on our relationship and how I wanted to proceed. I told him that I tend to be a cautious person and just wanted to get to know him casually, without the pressure of what’s next. He expressed that he was at a place where he felt that our relationship needed to go one way or another in order for him to guard his heart, and that our relationship couldn’t continue further without a deeper level of commitment. He asked what I thought about this. I told him that the day before I’d been thinking, “Well that’s all nice and ideal to take it slow and casual, but how does that work out practically-how do you keep it that way when you already know where your hearts are leading you?-there comes a point where you have to go one way or another.” We agreed that our next contact would be when I reached a decision on this.
As I prayed and considered this, I was getting less and less sleep at night as the days progressed…when it got to about three hours in a night I decided that I couldn’t go on like this and was going to fall apart if I didn’t come to a decision. After much prayer and struggle within my heart to discern God’s will, I decided that I was ready to begin a courtship with Adam. And what a peace I had after that decision was made! How freeing it was!
In our case courtship worked a little differently than the norm as my father had passed away earlier in the same year that our courtship began. My brother, Craig, had taken on the role of provider and protector of my sister and I, so as seemed natural in the situation, Adam contacted him primarily in regard to his interest in me, though my mom was considered as well. Craig’s initial approach was to write me a nonchalant e-mail in regard to Adam. Basically, he just asked me what my thoughts were about Adam in relationship to me. I thought that was funny and wondered what made him think of that being as he knew that someone else was interested in me at the time, and, after all, I had never noticed any interest in me from Adam – I was nearly 5 ½ years older than him. I told Craig that I respected Adam very much and thought he was a great guy. (I had always thought of him as a possibility for my sister, but not myself). Little did I know that Adam had actually already given Craig a phone call in regard to his interest in me. Craig was just trying to feel me out about the matter before telling me up front!
A few days later, on Sat., Dec.10, 2005, I received a phone call from Craig telling me of Adam’s phone call, indicating that he had called asking for permission to court me! I was very shocked!!! I think that I was a little speechless at the time, and didn’t quite know what to say, so didn’t say much except that I would think and pray about it, and would want to take it slow. The next morning I woke up at 4:15 with this on my mind and prayed through it. God’s only answer seemed to be “when I turn to the right hand or to the left I will hear a voice behind me saying, ‘This is the way, walk ye in it!’” Craig called Adam after hearing from me Sunday evening and told him that I would like to get to know him more on a casual basis, though I wasn’t ready to enter into a focused courtship at this time. Adam had an e-mail for me Monday morning asking me if he could call me that night, which he did. We talked for an hour and 4 minutes. (-:
Adam wanted to talk again Wed. evening, but I wasn’t available so we talked on Thursday evening. He wanted to hear from me what my position was on our relationship and how I wanted to proceed. I told him that I tend to be a cautious person and just wanted to get to know him casually, without the pressure of what’s next. He expressed that he was at a place where he felt that our relationship needed to go one way or another in order for him to guard his heart, and that our relationship couldn’t continue further without a deeper level of commitment. He asked what I thought about this. I told him that the day before I’d been thinking, “Well that’s all nice and ideal to take it slow and casual, but how does that work out practically-how do you keep it that way when you already know where your hearts are leading you?-there comes a point where you have to go one way or another.” We agreed that our next contact would be when I reached a decision on this.
As I prayed and considered this, I was getting less and less sleep at night as the days progressed…when it got to about three hours in a night I decided that I couldn’t go on like this and was going to fall apart if I didn’t come to a decision. After much prayer and struggle within my heart to discern God’s will, I decided that I was ready to begin a courtship with Adam. And what a peace I had after that decision was made! How freeing it was!
As you might expect, Adam was anxiously awaiting my response and wasn’t sure what I would say, and his mom’s stomach was in knots not knowing the outcome, but I was ignorantly oblivious of this and thought it might be fun to draw this out and wait until Adam’s birthday (2 ½ weeks away), and have a “treasure hunt” leading to me…ha, ha…funny, huh? Well, I was actually serious about this, but I couldn’t stand to wait. (When I told him later my thought, he couldn’t believe that I would even think of such a thing.) On Wed., Dec. 21st, I contacted Adam and we set up a time to get together the following evening at a restaurant. There, in so many words, I told him that I was honored at his interest in courting me and would be happy to take this journey with him. I think that was the right answer. (-:
Our courtship time found us living 2 ½ hours apart, so we didn’t get to see each other as often as we liked, but we talked and e-mailed each other daily. Many weekends I was able to come out to visit in person! Saturdays we got to know each other more over building what would be our future home (a great way to get to know each other-I was a test of his patience being a constructionally challenged girl! :-). Sundays we spent more time just sitting down and talking, memorizing Scripture together, etc.-special times that always flew away too quickly! During this time the Lord continued to confirm his direction for us to be together, and we became more and more comfortable with and drawn to each other. I was ready for the “big question” to be popped and thought that perhaps Valentine’s Day would be the “day”. Though at the time I was disappointed that it didn’t happen on that day,, ThoughI am so glad that he didn’t ask me then, but waited until I wasn’t expecting it.
On Feb. 25th, 2006 I was “home” from Hood River for the weekend and looking forward to spending Saturday helping Adam on the house. As we were beginning the project for the day, Adam said that he had something to show me. I followed him upstairs to see what it was, figuring it was a new idea that he had for the house! Upon arriving he said that he had something to read to me. At that point I could tell that it wasn’t any ordinary thing that he was reading to me, and before he got very far into it, I knew what was coming and started tearing up. Adam then relayed to me an endearing poem that he had written for the occasion entitled, “Who Will Walk Beside Me?” After the poem he asked the “big question”, and I readily replied, “With Pleasure!” He then handed me a special reminder of this-a piece of wild cherry wood that he had crafted into a walking stick with the words, “Who will walk beside me” burned into it. I was admiring it when I looked up at the top of it and noticed a slot in the top with the most beautiful ring in it. The ring couldn’t have been more like what I would have wanted had I chosen it myself, and I had nothing to do with it. It was all very meaningful and special. Then he proceeded to sing a very special (sorry if am using this word too much, but it was all very special!) song to me called, “I Cherish the Treasure”. We were excited to go and share the news and then went to celebrate with a special dinner date that Adam had planned for the two of us to share together.
Thus began our 7 month engagement period full of many enjoyable wedding preparations and feverish work on the house to get it to a comfortably livable point before the wedding date. We were married on Sept. 23, 2006.
Adam is certainly a gift of God to me! I can honestly say that as wonderful as our courtship and engagement time was, marriage is even better! It’s “where the rubber meets the road”. Marriage is where true love and commitment truly show themselves in the realities of life, making the relationship succeed, and helping each other to individually flourish in a way that would not happen without the other.
There is no doubt in my mind that Adam was well worth waiting for! I am so grateful that the Lord kept me until His best was revealed! I know you will find the same to be true for you as you wait on the Lord for His best and guard your heart from anything less than that.
“Eye hath not seen, neither ear heard, nor hath it entered into the heart of man what God has prepared for those that wait for Him.” Is. 64:4
Note: For our continuing story visit http://www.adamkaren.com/
Our courtship time found us living 2 ½ hours apart, so we didn’t get to see each other as often as we liked, but we talked and e-mailed each other daily. Many weekends I was able to come out to visit in person! Saturdays we got to know each other more over building what would be our future home (a great way to get to know each other-I was a test of his patience being a constructionally challenged girl! :-). Sundays we spent more time just sitting down and talking, memorizing Scripture together, etc.-special times that always flew away too quickly! During this time the Lord continued to confirm his direction for us to be together, and we became more and more comfortable with and drawn to each other. I was ready for the “big question” to be popped and thought that perhaps Valentine’s Day would be the “day”. Though at the time I was disappointed that it didn’t happen on that day,, ThoughI am so glad that he didn’t ask me then, but waited until I wasn’t expecting it.
On Feb. 25th, 2006 I was “home” from Hood River for the weekend and looking forward to spending Saturday helping Adam on the house. As we were beginning the project for the day, Adam said that he had something to show me. I followed him upstairs to see what it was, figuring it was a new idea that he had for the house! Upon arriving he said that he had something to read to me. At that point I could tell that it wasn’t any ordinary thing that he was reading to me, and before he got very far into it, I knew what was coming and started tearing up. Adam then relayed to me an endearing poem that he had written for the occasion entitled, “Who Will Walk Beside Me?” After the poem he asked the “big question”, and I readily replied, “With Pleasure!” He then handed me a special reminder of this-a piece of wild cherry wood that he had crafted into a walking stick with the words, “Who will walk beside me” burned into it. I was admiring it when I looked up at the top of it and noticed a slot in the top with the most beautiful ring in it. The ring couldn’t have been more like what I would have wanted had I chosen it myself, and I had nothing to do with it. It was all very meaningful and special. Then he proceeded to sing a very special (sorry if am using this word too much, but it was all very special!) song to me called, “I Cherish the Treasure”. We were excited to go and share the news and then went to celebrate with a special dinner date that Adam had planned for the two of us to share together.
Thus began our 7 month engagement period full of many enjoyable wedding preparations and feverish work on the house to get it to a comfortably livable point before the wedding date. We were married on Sept. 23, 2006.
Adam is certainly a gift of God to me! I can honestly say that as wonderful as our courtship and engagement time was, marriage is even better! It’s “where the rubber meets the road”. Marriage is where true love and commitment truly show themselves in the realities of life, making the relationship succeed, and helping each other to individually flourish in a way that would not happen without the other.
There is no doubt in my mind that Adam was well worth waiting for! I am so grateful that the Lord kept me until His best was revealed! I know you will find the same to be true for you as you wait on the Lord for His best and guard your heart from anything less than that.
“Eye hath not seen, neither ear heard, nor hath it entered into the heart of man what God has prepared for those that wait for Him.” Is. 64:4
Note: For our continuing story visit http://www.adamkaren.com/
Oh that was so sweet to read! I've never heard their courtship story before and was delighted to be able to now.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story, Mrs. Fischer. :)
Blessings,
~Miss Raquel
PS: Girls, great job on the series! Keep up the good work!
I love hearing women's courtship stories in their own words. I think it's great to include this in a series on courtship. (and I agree: great job on the series.)
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing!
-Penn
Hi Lauren and Mikaela,
ReplyDeleteI'd love to include Karen's story in our list over at www.ylcf.org/courtship-stories. Would you be able to put me in touch with her?
You can reply via the contact form on our website. Thanks so much!
Elisabeth